Defending Hers
by Cosmic Empress
Summary: Short story with an Alternative Universe. Queen Penelope works hard to keep her Queendom with her royal adviser, Sheldor the Wise by her side. An archaic enemy attacks, wanting her throne and her as his Queen Consort. He doesn't know all the facts.


Queen Penelope was no stranger to hard manual labor since she established her Queendom. Her people weren't just farmers and nobles. There were miners, fishermen, merchants, and artists. Her wise, practical advisor insisted on the resources being eco-friendly so he designed solar panels and wind turbines off coast.

Her people weren't quick to panic so when Sir Nathaniel Cunningham rushed into the throne room out of breath, Queen Penelope was quick to rise to her feet.

"An army under the flag of a rearing stag is marching towards the border." Nate, for short, gasped out as he hunched over his knees.

"From which direction?" Penelope demanded.

Her general, Zachariah Lockwood made the next demand of information. "How far?"

"Size of army?"

"Ten thousand armed men are two days away from the northern border," Nate was able to answer all three questions in a single sentence.

The royal advisor, Sheldor the Wise stepped up. "My queen, Leonard the Stagant carries that banner so he has most likely heard of your aesthetical appearance and no king beside you."

Zach roared out, "That weasel! I have heard of him, your majesty. He is of the opinion that women belong in the kitchen or bedroom."

Nate laughed at the audacity. "His views are out dated plus it is obvious that he has never met our queen."

Zach was a three star general (he fought in three wars on his queen's behalf; his first war earned him a bronze star then silver followed by gold. A fourth star would be platinum. He had fought off many who thought his queen was too weak-minded to properly rule. "We must show this. . ." Zach was too enraged to finish his sentence.

"Chauvinistic swine?" Sheldor the Wise offered.

"Chauvinistic pig that we are no push-overs."

Queen Penelope in an emerald dress nodded as she sat back down. She motioned to Zach's aid, Captain Amelia Farrah to come over. "Fetch the charts and maps, Captain."

Amy saluted the Head of State, "Right away, my queen."

While Amy fetched the rolled up items, the four others discussed troops.

"General," Queen Penelope addressed her general. "How many men can be ready by dusk?"

"The men in the north should be ready by now since they started preparing once spotting the approaching army," Nate informed his sovereign.

"I always have 3,000 men combat ready near the capital, your majesty," said Zach.

"11,000 should be able to handle this bigoted boar," Queen Penelope thought out-loud.

"I'll call 1,000 men from each region to arms at once." The general tapped out the Morse Code to rally the men.

-Regiment 1E call to arms. . .Regiment 1W call to arms. . .Regiment 1S call to arms. Enemy attach due within two days on the northern border between St. Augustine and Colby. Report to your colonel immediately. . ."

Nate was an educated man so he knew that he dared not leave the capital and palace under-defended should the weasel try to lead a small band to capture the queen. Nate was one night out of 15, charged with protecting the palace and their monarch.

The captain of the royal guard came back with Amy. The man, Elijah (Eli) Jamieson was pulled aside.

"Heighten palace security until this vermin is taken out of the picture," Nate whispered in Eli's ear so the on-going discussion was not interrupted. "Code Orange."

For security, certain scenarios had codes based on fire. Yellow meant a riot was possible, orange was an attempt at capturing the monarch, red was in case of an assassination, and blue was a siege.

All the safety exit locks were checked as spies were weeded out. Eli checked the ration supplies for contamination and expiration dates (most had been spelled to last until opened for 3 days.)

Sheldor the Wise devised automatic weapons to take out the enemy troops. His catapults were 60% more efficient.

"I could increase their efficiency, but certain parts don't exist at this point in time," Sheldor said.

Queen Penelope surveyed her troops at the front lines while Sheldor planned where to station the catapults for mass causalities.

"My citizen soldiers, this enemy come to disrupt our lifestyle without any background information. We cannot let them get away without proving our worth." Queen Penelope rode her chestnut gelding as she encouraged her troops.

At half past five pm, a messenger bowed at his knees before his queen in her battle attire.

"Please rise, loyal subject." Queen Penelope's standard was an emerald-eyed dragon with gold scales. To prevent an ambush, three identical tents were spread around the camp so mercenaries didn't know which one housed the Head of State- Queen Penelope.

"My queen, a mercenary was caught outside the royal quarters at the palace. He was paid to bring you to Leonard the Stagnant." The messenger was Rajesh the Silent. He wore his queen's crest as a badge on his right pocket.

"General, our scout reports that the pig is absent from the battle front. His second in command is Howard the Horndog. They have a female prisoner," Captain Amy Farrah saluted the queen. "They also looted the Royal Mint of three chests."

"Take the second out with a poison dart from a distance. Distract them so we can free the prisoner and take back our money," ordered Queen Penelope.

Sheldor gave poison tree frog darts to the captain along with a pouch of teleporting powder. "Sprinkle a pinch on each chest; they'll teleport directly to the Royal Treasury."

The stolen loot was useless to Leonard since it hadn't been stamped, yet.

Queen Penelope was escorted to her tent by Sheldor.

"Sheldor, our people know we are intimate, but foreigners don't. They will keep coming after the Queendom until we announce our relationship."

Sheldor ran his hands over his lover's somewhat flat stomach. "We'll announce our marriage after you take out the pig. I have had your armor strengthened and cast protection spells over you. I will not have you or our child harmed." He laid a wet kiss on his sensitive neck.

The two fell asleep wrapped in each other's arms.

When the brazier burned low, a low-life criminal snuck into the tent, but a chill woke Queen Penelope who threw a dagger into the man's neck, effectively snuffing out his life.

Queen Penelope just fell back asleep, but Sheldor alerted the guards to remove the man's corpse.

Battle cries at dawn woke the slumbering queen who didn't like waking up before 9 am.

Queen Penelope quickly changed into her fitted armor that was light-weight. Sheldor handed her, her magical sword, Dragon's Breath.

Dragon's Breath had an enchantment that covered the blade in dragon fire when spoken. A dying dragon gave his right emerald eye as a blessing to the mighty queen. The round gem was set in the pommel.

The catapults took out 500 until someone set fire to them. Another 150 fell into man-made sinkholes.

Leonard the Stagnant came back to his dying second, plus his army significantly reduced. He was thoroughly embarrassed that a woman was winning this war.

He tried to claim that it was her generals, not her that was defeating him.

Unknown to Leonard, a be-spelled bug was used to spy on his campaign.

Queen Penelope snorted in contempt of the little man. "Why has he not been killed by some other woman?"

"We will rectify that mistake so no one else has to put up with his archaic views."

"We need to shame him by turning him into a woman."

Sheldor wanted to make Leonard into a very feminine petite woman with curly hair and long dark eyelashes. He mixed a potion with a spell attached that could be put into Leonard's diet.

Captain Amy reported her lieutenant's complete mission. "We saved her from being married to the walking stick." Amy shuddered at the thought of anyone marrying Howard.

"What is her name?" Queen Penelope wore black tights under a forest green tunic.

"Lady Bernadette Rolski," Amy dutifully replied. She was eager to get back to Zach.

"I know of her. Her mother is a high noble while her father is a sheriff. She is an intelligent woman," The queen told them. "Is the currency back in the vault?"

"Yes, my queen!" Captain Amy saluted her betters.

"You have our appreciation, Captain." Sheldor dismissed the woman. He then went to his work tent to create the potion to turn Leonard the Stagnant into a female.

The next morning, Leona the Dull made her debut. She was arrested by her own troops for dispatching their commander.

The troops then dispersed since they had no one to follow and no orders.

The birth of Princess Genevieve was six months later. An arranged marriage was never made for her.

Queen Penelope's informant informed her that Leona the Dull was institutionalized due to illusions of being male. His orderly often caught Leona fondling herself.

So in the end, Queen Penelope was victorious.


End file.
